I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
