I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
FUCK WHALES
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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