yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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