Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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