You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
