i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Acid is not a monday night drug
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
