So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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