Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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