just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
