we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
