We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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