I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
