As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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