The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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