Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Randomize
