so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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