What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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