He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
