seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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