i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
