He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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