you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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