i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
