If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
