I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want to make out with him forever
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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