So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
