She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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