Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
