Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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