Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
