You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
