He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
