just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
