that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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