i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
