and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she was so not down for the gang bang
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
