He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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