They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
