so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
