And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
