Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
