she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
