To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
kristin has been a bad kristin
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
