sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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