Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
