Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
