apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
