I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
As shirtless as possible
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
