How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
