she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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